Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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