I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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