If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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