Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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