You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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