Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
