I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
