So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
