I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Buhtt sex?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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