And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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