Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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