were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
