It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Randomize