super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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