So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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