Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
