There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
