i may or may not be watching the land before time
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
