That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
