I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
