..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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