winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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