I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
