$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
