the condom got lost in my hair
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
