She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
