is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
