STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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