I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
