doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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