I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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