is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
it hurts more in the daytime
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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