Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
