You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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