dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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