a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
