3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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