I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
