I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
