Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
