An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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