Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
