bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Vodka?
Forever.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
