I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
it was like eating out sand paper
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
bring money and cleavage
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
