apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
