Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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