Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
