That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
