i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
