We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Someone signed my nipple.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
