And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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