I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize