At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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