The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
