I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
