Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
