I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
