More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
now i know why i became what i already was.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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