In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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