im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Too much gin, very little bucket
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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